Category: Blog

Blog postings by Alan Bordeville.

Men and counselling
Men are notoriously bad at asking for help (directions anyone?). It’s hard for them to visit a physician for serious physical concerns, and even harder for them to see a counsellor for mental health or stress management concerns. Often men will wait until things are so bad (physically or mentally), that they have no other choice than to seek some professional support, or sometimes more seriously when it comes to mental health—contemplate suicide. Why?
It’s important that men reach out for help before their situation becomes tragic. Men don’t want to appear weak, and it can be uncomfortable for them to express their emotions. All this bravado may look good from the outside (picture the hero mythology of most films), but can take a terrible toll on the reality of their day-to-day experiences (e.g. having to keep up appearances).
Not surprisingly, men want to be as strong and independent as possible, but the reality is humans are social creatures and need the support of others. Even if men want to think of themselves as being self-sufficient, much individual success is the result of the hard work, dedication and support of others—past and present. So what would make it easier and more socially acceptable for men to seek counselling?
The first step is to have the conversation. Thankfully, the stigma around mental health and counselling is slowly disappearing, but men are still behind the curve. When men do seek counselling, they want to know that they can speak candidly about their internal experiences without being judged as weak or unmasculine. Men may also initially want to stay in the realm of ideas, and avoid talking about emotions. Why?
Unfortunately, the only socially acceptable emotion for men to express is anger. Anger can be energising in the moment, but is rarely a long-term solution, and is often a cover for emotions such as fear or hurt – uncomfortable emotions that can be examined in counselling. Until we give men the space and permission to be fully human, expressing the full range of internal experiences (including vulnerability), they will continue to suffer in silence.
Physician Dr. Gabor Maté in his book ‘When the Body Says No’ explores the mind-body connection between stress and disease. It is not possible to separate the mind (including emotions) from the body, and if we choose to ignore stress and unpleasant emotions, they will surface elsewhere. If men choose not to reach out for help they risk not only their mental health (and possibly suicide), but their physical health as well.
If men can incorporate the parts of themselves they have rejected as unimportant and weak, they have a chance of achieving physical and emotional balance. Counselling is a powerful tool to help facilitate this process of self-acceptance and healing. Let’s keep the conversation going, and let men know it’s okay to be human and seek help when necessary – before it’s too late.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
Robot counselling anyone?
Some of the world’s brightest minds, such as Elon Musk of Tesla and the physicist Stephen Hawking, consider artificial intelligence (AI), left unchecked, to be a serious threat to human civilization. Barring a doomsday scenario, should we be worried that AI will replace the jobs we consider only human beings capable of doing? Counselling is predominantly an interactional process between people, so there’s no need to worry, right?
Well, maybe and maybe not. We don’t know to what extent AI will be able to relate to humans in the future. In the mid 60’s at MIT, Joseph Weizenbaum created a computer program called ELIZA. Its responses were based on Rogerian principles of reflecting back to the user what they had said. The set up was a basic DOS screen where the user could type in what was bothering them, and the computer would respond in kind.
What was interesting about this experiment was that participants in the study began to attribute human emotions to the computer, even though Weizenbaum insisted the computer was simply following a programmed algorithm: it was only using the inputs from the user to generate responses. Users were not convinced though, and Weizenbaums’s secretary even asked him to leave the room so that she could have a private conversation with ELIZA!
That experiment took place over 50 years ago. Now we have enhanced virtual reality (VR), Google DeepMind AI that taught itself to walk and run, and IBM’s Watson which matches patients with potential online counsellors, even making treatment suggestions. Replacing humans altogether seems rather futuristic, but the rate of growth in technology is staggering, and we still don’t fully understand the long-term impact it will have on relationally dominated fields such as counselling.
Of course, no one wants to believe they could be replaced by an intelligent machine, but what if clients couldn’t tell the difference? The movie Ex Machina does a good job of imagining a world where humans lose sight of the fact that they are interacting with machines. The AI becomes so good at adapting to human emotions, that it learns how to manipulate us. Of course, this is just science fiction at the moment, but maybe not as far off as we might think…
So where does that leave us? Many therapists and clients already choose to adopt certain technologies to assist them. There are mental health apps for your phone, online CBT programs, and online counselling platforms – there are even robot pet therapy animals like the PARO seal. These technologies are a long way from replacing the work that counsellors do, but it’s worth thinking about how technology might affect counselling in the future.
In this quickly advancing technological landscape, the counsellor of the not-too-distant future may have to take a back seat to AI. Perhaps they will be the adjunct therapy when AI-delivered therapy isn’t effective with certain clients. Or maybe we have nothing to worry about. Let’s ask Siri.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
Compassion vs empathy
The traditional wisdom is that counsellors should use empathy when working with clients. Empathy allows the counsellor to put themselves in the client’s shoes, and feel what the client is going through. While this approach may be useful to help connect with the client on an emotional level, if used too frequently, it can lead to counsellor burnout – at which point they cannot help themselves or their clients.
In his latest book, Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion, Yale psychology professor Paul Bloom makes a case against empathy, particularly when it comes to moral reasoning. His argument is that empathy can cloud our ability to reason about moral issues (e.g. do you give money to one homeless person, or support a charity that builds homes). By too narrowly focusing our attention on and identifying with only one person, we necessarily ignore others.
For counsellors, this ability to really focus on the client is what makes counselling helpful. But what if there was a better way to connect with clients, while at the same time avoiding the symptoms of empathic distress that can often accompany working in a caring profession like counselling? This is where compassion comes in.
Compassion is essentially caring for the other person, rather than feeling their feelings. It involves understanding what the client is going through (intellectually and emotionally), without taking on the painful feelings the client is experiencing. So for example, if a client is feeling depressed, it may be more helpful to remain in a positive state of compassionate loving kindness (a Buddhist concept), rather than fully experiencing what the client is going through.
Bloom’s book was not intended for counsellors, but from his perspective, it doesn’t make sense for those in helping professions to feel everything their client or patient is feeling. For example, if you went to a physician to get help with anxiety, you wouldn’t want your doctor to mirror your anxiety – you would want someone calm, competent and understanding offering a helping hand.
Simply empathically mirroring another’s anguish may also result in inaction, and leave both parties worse off. According to the neurological research cited by Bloom, empathy can be draining, debilitating, and lead to withdrawal, whereas compassion can be energizing, mobilizing, and lead to positive action. On the face of it, compassionate engagement with difficult client material seems like a more viable long-term option than empathy, especially if counsellors want to avoid burning out.
Of course, the idea that empathy is anything less than the ideal moral good may be a shocking concept (the current trend is towards promoting more empathy, not less), and Bloom’s book has certainly caused some controversy, but it is worth exploring the idea to see if there is a better way of doing counselling. If compassion is an engaging force that allows counsellors to relate to others without taking on their distress, it may be a more appropriate approach to working with clients.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
How to handle stress
Stress is a natural response to the world, so we must differentiate between healthy stress and unhealthy stress. Without some stress we would not be challenged, our muscles and minds would atrophy, and we would be weak and bored. On the other hand, too much stress can cause our lives to be chaotic; as a result our health, relationships, and quality of life suffer. So how do we deal with stress?
Stress is a nervous system response called ‘fight or flight’. When we are presented with immediate danger, it makes sense for us to avoid it using this short-term strategy. In those moments, our bodies release adrenaline and cortisol, moving blood to the muscles and preparing us for action. Once the threat is gone, our systems go back to a relaxed state (called ‘rest and digest’).
In our modern society of pressure and change, there are often constant low levels of stress hormones in our systems. As a result, many of us are low energy, irritable, and tense. Having these stress hormones in our bodies long-term can actually weaken our immune function. In some cases, long-term stress can contribute to serious illnesses and can even be deadly (see When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Maté).
So, how do we manage stress? One of the best ways to manage stress is to reduce exposure to overly stressful situations (although some exposure to stress is inevitable). For some people it may not be possible to avoid long-term exposure to stress such as work or family challenges, so we need other tools to help us deal with these situations. What are some available options?
Regular breaks outside the office or away from the stressful situation are essential. Proper posture and breathing are also important and can be learned through yoga or pilates classes. Regular exercise (stretching, strengthening and cardio) is vital. One simple way to add exercise to your daily routine is to walk 30-45 minutes everyday. Activities such as gardening or a sport you find fun are also good ways to stay in shape and reduce stress.
It is important to manage the mental and emotional effects of stress as well. Going for a massage can be a great way to reduce tension and increase an overall sense of wellbeing. Other ways to reduce emotional stress include spending time with friends, and maintaining social connections. For more serious concerns, speaking to a trained counsellor can help manage negative emotions and find positive solutions to life’s challenges.
There is good research to support the benefits of reducing stress. Often, it can be easy to ignore the warning signs of stress (such as irritability), and many of us are better at taking care of others than taking care of ourselves. If we ignore our own stress levels, the long-term effects can lead to burnout—leaving us unable to help ourselves, or others. Don’t let stress get the best of you.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
Why is change so hard?
Any change involves uncertainty, and that can be unsettling. We need a measure of safety and security to maintain life as we know it. On the other hand, we need some excitement and stimulation to encourage growth. Even though we know everything changes (the only constant is change), we still cling to the idea of permanence and stability. Why?
There is solace in knowing that the sun will come up, the seasons will change, that the world moves according to a predictable pattern. In our own lives, we create schedules and calendars to help maintain a sense of certainty. This gives us a secure base from which to explore new things, while not overextending ourselves too far into the unknown.
From a historical perspective, when we lived in hunter-gatherer tribes, it made sense that we sought the security of the group, the fire, the known. The darkness contained multiple possibilities for death and destruction, but at the same time potential rewards. This is the struggle between order and chaos, stagnation and growth, yin and yang.
We are naturally goal-oriented beings, and derive satisfaction from setting and achieving goals. This is nature’s way of keeping us moving towards life-sustaining activities such as finding food, shelter and compatible mates. Although these are good goals to have, we do not live in the untamed wilderness, and have the time to reflect, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.
One of the hardest places to be is in the middle of a transition period. We are letting go of the past, and moving ahead into the future. This can be particularly challenging, especially if it is unclear what the next goal should be. We can’t go back, as much as we might want to, so we are left with the responsibility of moving forward—do or die.
In this in-between stage of a transition, counselling can be helpful. It gives space to learn from the past, re-organize ourselves, and plan for the future. The time spent between careers, relationships or identities is sometimes called the neutral zone—this is the space where it can feel like nothing is happening. As a result, we may move too quickly to the next thing: a new job, a new partner, a new academic program.
One of the goals of therapy is to help us become more comfortable with uncertainty, rather than simply reacting to circumstances—not jumping forward without first doing the necessary work on ourselves. The danger of moving too quickly is that we may end up repeating the same unwanted patterns over and over.
The neutral zone is a place for rest, reflection and planning, allowing the natural rhythm of life to play a part in what’s next. During transition and change the path forward is not always clear, but by embracing the present moment (uncertainty and all), we have a better chance of coming out the other side a stronger version of ourselves. We just need to trust the process.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
In Conversation with Paul Christelis on Playfulness and Therapy
This excerpt is from my podcast Alanism Ep.3 where I sat down with author, therapist and mindfulness coach and director of School of Moments Paul Christelis to discuss playfulness, creative process and therapy:
ALAN
One of the main reasons that I started this podcast is I really want to explore the therapeutic value of engaging in the creative process.
So music, for example, there’s just something so amazing, for me anyway, when I play the drums I just get this feeling of connection, and when I’m practicing some piece or some combination that’s really difficult and then finally getting it, it’s almost like putting a key in a lock or something… something shifts, and I go ‘Oh yeah, now I can do this.’ And I can keep building on that, and it’s almost like a little high that I get at the end of playing. And I think a reason for that is also just reconnecting to the body.
I know you practice mindfulness, and you work as a therapist. And so, I know that the mind-body connection is important to you as well, and I think there’s something about engaging in the creative process that maybe brings those two things together… because you have to practice a technique, but once you have the technique then you can move into a more creative space.
PAUL
I think sometimes with the technique, when you’re learning the technique it can be quite cerebral. So a lot of your attention is on just the mechanics of it. But after a while, once it starts to… you feel it in your bones, it’s like being unconsciously competent at something. And then you’re not accessing or coming to what you’re doing from a cerebral space anymore, it’s just like a more embodied kind of thing.
ALAN
So early on in the creative process, I guess, there’s no other way around the cerebral process, like you said, you have to consciously practice a movement, if it’s dance or music or something, but once that becomes second nature, then as you say, it becomes more embodied, maybe implicit memory is a good description as well, where you don’t have to consciously think about it, it almost just happens organically.
PAUL
I don’t know if you noticed this, but even with a conversation like this, when we start there’s that sense of ‘Well we just started, this is a new space.’ And I just noticed that I was accessing something in my head, and just as we’ve been speaking it through, and the space becomes more knowing, or more knowable, there’s more of a sense of ‘OK, I’m more aware of what I’m feeling now.’ So, I’m sensing I’m speaking more from my body than I was from my head when we started.
ALAN
As soon as I hit record, I think that’s what you mean, because we were already in conversation prior to hitting the record button. And then as soon as I said ‘OK, now we’re recording’, all of a sudden it’s like ‘Oh’, like something shifts, right. ‘Oh, now we’ve started something new. OK, what are we doing? What’s happening?’…performance anxiety, right!
PAUL
And actually it’s a lot like that in a therapy session where I find with clients, I don’t know if you find this, but you know you have those moments of acclimatizing at the start, and then there can be that kind of sussing each other out, and a lot of the work is going on in the head, and then you just sink into it, and then the space becomes a lot more porous and full of possibility, and you don’t really know where you’re going.
ALAN
And that’s OK… and in my experience anyway, that time of sussing each other out can be shorter or longer depending on the person as well, and the relationship. Sometimes, it can take multiple sessions (or multiple months!) to drop down into a more sensory experience or embodied experience.
PAUL
I think that’s right, and I think trust is a big part of that. You’re working sometimes with people where there’s difficulty around trusting each other, or trusting the process, then it’s very difficult, I think, to get to a place where true play can happen. It’s like you’re still negotiating the space together, and you’re still getting a sense of how trustworthy and safe the other person is, but sometimes that’s necessary so that you can create the conditions in which then the true playing can happen.
ALAN
It’s so interesting, because you do have to set up some parameters don’t you. I mean even if you’re painting you’ve got the frame, at least, to contain the painting. And so I see therapy and the counselling process that way as well. You set up the parameters: ok this the time, this is the space, then the psychological negotiation, and then hopefully at some point that just becomes part of the process, but not something you have to think about and over-analyze, and eventually you can then drop into that playful space. Although, I don’t know how many people would think of counselling as playing, but I think there has to be some kind of improvisation, and there’s a creative quality to counselling as well isn’t there.
PAUL
Well, really I wish more people would actually equate what we do with playfulness, I think that’s really missing in the work that we do. We were talking just before we started about how it [therapy] can feel like a serious enterprise, you know ’It’s gonna be traumatic, and in fact real work is only possible if you’re working on something serious’ and then you’re furrowing your brow and this kind of thing. And I’ve been aware, and it’s almost been a silent intention of mine, that I’ve got to laugh at least once in a session, regardless of what’s actually happening and what the client is bringing. And I think that’s very, very underestimated, is that quality of heartfulness, of playfulness, because I think you can even bring difficulty and you can bring seriousness, and you can really get in touch with it if you’re coming from a place of playfulness too. If there’s no play, then I think there’s a kind of… it just becomes a bit arid, and I think it doesn’t allow the client’s synapsis to… they’re dry instead of juicy. You want to introduce some kind of moisture into the session. I’m not sure if that’s the best word to describe it!
ALAN
Not the dreaded ‘m’ word! But it makes sense, otherwise it’s quite dry and brittle maybe. And it’s not a comfortable place to be. And not to say that doing difficult work is necessarily comfortable, but at least it can be rich and rewarding, and you can have a laugh even when you’re feeling down. I think that humour is underestimated, underused, underrated… obviously it has to be used correctly. But to just take humour and playfulness out of the equation, I think, it’s not allowing the person to have a full experience of what it means to be a human being either.
PAUL
Absolutely, and I think that’s also how you really connect, that’s been my experience anyway. That’s been my experience as a therapist is connection often happens in those moments of levity, and it’s not the same as being superficial, because if you can genuinely share those moments, there’s a real deepening of the relationship. I think it also helps a client access those parts of themselves more easily as well.
ALAN
It’s not humour in the sense of just laughing something off or avoiding, but as you say, that genuine connection to what can sometimes be quite absurd as well. Sometimes situations are just absurd!
PAUL
Life is absurd!
ALAN
Sometimes it’s so powerful to just throw your hands in the air and say ’It’s out of my control’ or whatever, but to just allow ourselves that psychological space I think, rather than getting locked down into the seriousness of it. Because there is a lot of serious stuff happening in people’s lives, and in the world in general, it would be very easy to just get completely bogged down and almost immobilized as well. And I found that for myself, you know, I make sure to inject some kind of humour, or some levity into my day. Whether that’s watching stand-up comedy or whatever the case might be, because that’s part of life too isn’t it. And it’s not just a mindless distraction, I think it speaks to who we are as human beings. Yes, we have serious things to deal with, but there’s also joy and playfulness even in the most awful situations as well, right.
PAUL
I agree, and it makes me think of artists like David Lynch. He’s an artist I really, really admire. He’s really fascinating because if you look at a lot of his work, people might describe it as being quite morose, and really strange and weird, and dark, but if you listen to him speaking about his process, you’ll see that there’s something incredibly light. He practices transcendental meditation, and he talks about how these ideas come from this spacious, creative, playful space, and it’s really fascinating because even when you’re watching something that he’s filmed, or you’re looking at a painting or a sculpture, you can see and feel the darkness and the weirdness, but you can also sense where it’s coming from which is not a dark place, it’s actually a place of abundance.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
It’s All About Growth
This excerpt is from Episode 2 of my new podcast Alanism in which we explore the therapeutic benefits of creativity.
I sat down with filmmaker Maya Avidov to discuss her creative process, upcoming projects and her latest short The Listener.
Maya
You were talking about creativity when we started off, and there are two things that became very apparent to me the past couple of years. Both of them I learned through podcasts, actually, which is the idea that the minute you understand that every single organism in the world is creative and all it’s trying to do is spread, things become very clear.
Alan
Right, that’s an interesting way of looking at it.
Maya
It doesn’t even have to be ego driven. Its not even about survival. It’s just about more. And that can be interpreted as anything: i.e. I want to spread because I want to control, or I want to learn, or I want to grow.
Alan
This idea of growth, I think, that makes sense to me because every organism…
Maya
Yeah, wants to better itself in one way or another. Even if it’s just a survival mechanism… and this connects to my second point which is, I’ve recently thought about this, human beings like to say, although I don’t think it’s true, that they’re the only animal in the world that takes from their imagination and builds it into reality. I think that’s not true because, spider webs, hello! And there’s a lot of artistry that happens in the natural world that I have a feeling an otter was all like ‘I have an idea for a dam that’s gonna blow all the other dams away!’ But generally what’s amazing about entities with a consciousness and subconsciousness is that they have an imagination, and that they can bring this imagination into fruition like little gods or whatever.
Filmmakers have taken this to a hyper extensive place and a lot of them deal with that, with what they’ve done, with the process of what… and the minute you kind of open that rabbit hole…
Alan
When you say deal with it, do you mean the repercussions of pushing your [boundaries]?
Maya
I mean actual reflexive art about this, about what is real and what isn’t real. About being a mirror within a mirror within a mirror… it repeats itself. Yeah, it’s a rabbit hole. It’s very fun to talk about, it allows a lot of conversations with yourself. Because I find when a lot of people write… this how I think Charlie Kaufmann ended up in Adaptation. Where he’s like ‘I wrote myself into my script’, and you’re like, yeah that’s bound to happen.
Alan
A lot of writers do.
Maya
Yeah, but not as a starting point. He literally wrote himself into the script within a script that he was writing which he was in from the beginning. It’s a very… there’s a lot of layers to it. But I think, all of these things where we’ve taken our imagination and made it real, we’re examining what is real, because the thought of it was very real, and now the thing is very real, and they’re equally… so I’m very interested in sort of balancing those two things. And then with a film or any type of art you’ve made the thought real, and then you’ve made it a thought again. What I was going to say was, one of the things that’s really interesting about everything having growth is that, all of the films I’ve seen that I had nothing to do with the making of them have made me who I am.
Alan
Sure, so just as a viewer, forget about the [filmmaking] process.
Maya
As a viewer they’ve continued to grow within me. And that’s so true of so many albums. So many songs… twenty years later I’ll meet a person and they’ll remind me of a lyric, and I’ll be like ‘Oh that’s what they meant. That’s what they meant!’ So I feel like there are seeds to everything. But everything is a seed to everything else.
Alan
So I’m wondering then, is the therapeutic benefit for you of being involved in the creative process and filmmaking is that you get to make the inner outer… bring whatever’s going on internally for you out into the real world, a kind of giving birth to it and releasing it somehow?
Maya
I think the release. I’ve only once or twice… so people always say ‘Oh when you watch it on the screen with an audience you’ll have a…’ no.
Alan
It’s not about that [recognition] for you.
Maya
First of all if it was about that for any filmmaker there would be no films. It takes years to get to that point. And also that’s very… how much external reassurance do you need? Although I have to say I had a moment that’s near that moment where I had my first laugh, and that made me feel really good. But it wasn’t like everyone showed up, I don’t care. People I didn’t know laughed, and it was a physical thing [for me], it was a rush.
Alan
I can see that, because you want people to respond.
Maya
Well I’ve screened stuff before, and I consider myself more like a funny… there’s more money for drama than comedy. So it was great to make people laugh. I used to decide if a therapy session was good or not also based on how many laughs I got. I decide if a day is good or not based on how many laughs I got!
Alan
I kind of like that gauge—yeah that resonates with me.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
What Would People Think of Me?
This excerpt is from my new podcast Alanism which explores the psychological benefits of creativity in art, music and theatre.
I sat down with actor/writer Liam Cogan of Ragged Trouser Theatre Company to discuss his upcoming play Gary’s Not Well at The Bread & Roses Theatre 5-9th Feb, 2019.
LIAM
The theatre, for me, was a relatively new experience up until I got to drama school, actually. And also because where I grew up in the Midlands we didn’t have a theatre. We would have had to drive about 40 odd minutes to go to Sheffield, or to get to our closest theatre.
ALAN
So what was that transition like then going from growing up without much experience of being at the theatre as an audience member to kind of jumping into the deep end and doing a degree in theatre and acting?
LIAM
Yeah for sure, I mean let’s put it this way, it got me out of my comfort zone for sure. I was a very sheltered person and a very boxed in person when I arrived there. But one of the things I realized about drama school is it does help you step out of your comfort zone—it really frees you.
You’re doing a workshop to do with acting and wellbeing for people, and I’m a staunch supporter of that because I think it really does get you out of that comfort zone. I was the kind of guy that when I arrived I had very certain ideas: this is how a man acts, this is how a man should be, and this [drama school] is a little bit strange.
And you get there and they’re like, ‘OK everybody crawl around on the floor and pretend to be an ape’ and ‘I want you to make monkey noises at the top of your lungs’ And I’m thinking, ‘What did she just say?’ ‘Am I hearing that correctly?’
They use the example of children, right, so as a child, what do you do? You play, you know, ’Oh I’m in a spaceship, wooooo’ and the child’s free and he’s playing, and he doesn’t care that he looks ridiculous—he’s simply playing and imagining.
ALAN
And we lose that as adults don’t we? And we get filed down to specific roles, and we have all these expectations about who we’re supposed to be, and how we’re supposed to act.
LIAM
And how do we behave, and that’s not normal, and I’m an adult now, you know, this is reality. And they worked really hard to get us to lose that—to crack the armour. So it was like, Liam, ‘I want you to crawl on your stomach and pretend to be a snake’. They basically try to do whatever they can to take away any dignity, any self respect that you might try and hold for yourself, they try and break that in front of people. You have to do it, because maybe one day on the stage you need to prance around like a unicorn, and be a character that might be completely different to yourself.
ALAN
So was that challenging for you?
LIAM
Very challenging. Because instantly I’m thinking, imagine if my family in Italy could see this, god, what would they think? What if my friends back in the Midlands could see me prancing around, or pretending to be a dandelion in the wind, what would they think of me? But I think it was one of the best things of my life getting out of that mindset—What would people think of me? And it was so good to get rid of that mindset. And it really is a mindset I think, not just mentioning some of the machismo culture that does exist in the Mediterranean, in South America and in various parts of the world, but it was a machismo culture that again also existed in the North and in the Midlands… we’re real tough men, and especially in the mining community that I grew up in the Midlands it was very kind of real man’s man. We go to the miner’s club on a Friday and a Saturday and we drink alcohol. This is how you behave if you’re a man, and if there’s a problem there’s violence.
ALAN
Or if you have internal problems you just suck it up. You don’t talk about it.
LIAM
Yeah, exactly. And that’s what they think that men are. And I think it’s great to see the reverse side. You know we often talk about jiu-jitsu, because I’m a practitioner of Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and my jiu-jitsu instructor is coming to see the play [Gary’s Not Well]. His actual profile picture on his WhatsApp is ‘No health without mental health’. Outside of his Brazilian jiu-jitsu and his judo, he really works hard for mental health because again he knows in an environment like martial arts that can sometimes translate into ‘I’m a fighter, I’m a fighter, it’s all in here’. You know, ‘I’m fine, I’m fine,’ you’re not getting inside my head’.
ALAN
But everyone has struggles right? I think we need to talk about it. I think that’s a big part of what I want to do with this podcast as well is encourage people to reach out if you need help, rather than just carrying these struggles around and kind of sucking it up. Especially for guys, it’s very hard to reach out, very hard.
“Profound ideas in an easy format.”
“To the point and informative!”
“It’s awesome and everyone should do it.”
Does psychedelic psychotherapy really work?
There is a revival in research associated with the medical use of psychedelic substances (together with psychotherapy) in the treatment of common mental health problems such as anxiety and depression, and issues like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and addictions. The Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) in the US has been at the forefront of this pioneering work for many years, as well as organizations in the UK such as the Beckley Foundation.
Because psychedelics like MDMA, LSD, and psilocybin mushrooms have been classified as dangerous drugs with no medical benefit, it has been extremely hard for researchers to get approval for examining the potential benefits of these substances. So why have these substances been classified as dangerous if there are potential health benefits? A lot of the initial resistance to studying them seems to be political.
In the early 70s, then US president Richard Nixon made it his goal to eliminate political dissenters to the Vietnam War, but because this was such a large group of people from all walks of life and cultural backgrounds, the easiest way to target them was to go after the substances they were using such as LSD and cannabis. The war on drugs was born.
At the same time, the general public still knew very little about psychedelics, and neuroscience was in its infancy. What people did know was usually through sensationalized media stories, government anti-drug campaigns, and movie depictions of social drop-outs (e.g. Easy Rider). What they didn’t know was that serious research was being conducted on the potential benefits of these substances, and that they were being used for medical purposes.
Once these substances hit the street though, it became impossible to control the purity and dosages—never mind medical use. Also, the set (the user’s mindset at the time, e.g. therapeutic intent) and setting (e.g. a psychotherapist’s office vs. a noisy party) for taking the substances was ignored. Without considering these important factors, the potential medical benefits are significantly reduced.
In terms of negative effects, the current research shows that psychedelics carry significantly lower risks of negative health consequences compared to legal substances such as alcohol or tobacco—both of which can be lethal. Also, psychedelics appear to have almost no addictive qualities, which cannot be said for many other legal drugs such as tobacco, or prescribed opioids. Nevertheless, psychedelics need to be treated with care.
So the question remains, can psychedelics be used to treat common mental health problems? If we give researchers such as MAPS and the Beckley Foundation the resources to explore these substances, we just might find out. The research so far seems to be promising. We should use all available resources to help those suffering from mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, PTSD and addictions—rather than letting bias and past hysteria distract us from the potential benefits of psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy.
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Erich Fromm reading group ‘The Art of Loving’
The subject of love is rarely discussed in any serious way, and philosophers of love are few and far between. Erich Fromm thoughtfully engages with this topic, and presents his ideas in pleasantly readable language. His best-seller The Art of Loving may sound like a cheesy self-help book, but it is an honest attempt to answer fundamental questions about a topic that affects us all:
What is love? Is love an art? Or is it simply a pleasant sensation? In The Art of Loving, Fromm argues that love is an art that can be practiced and cultivated, and not something you just happen to ‘fall into’ if you are lucky.
This reading group, run by Alan Bordeville, will meet to explore these ideas in Fromm’s book, and their implications for today.
Book your place at Stillpoint Spaces London. Sold Out